How to advocate for yourself during birth
Birth is a wonderful, unpredictable, and somewhat wild ride. It’s one of the most personal experiences in life. Yet, it’s easy to feel like everything is out of your control, especially when talking to doctors, nurses, midwives, and other people who are involved in the process. Let’s remember, this is your birth, and you have every right to make sure your preferences are heard and respected.
Advocating for yourself doesn’t mean you have to be confrontational—it’s about having the confidence to ensure that your needs, wishes, and boundaries are respected. Let’s walk through some ways you can communicate your preferences effectively and feel empowered throughout the process.
Know Your Preferences (create a birth plan!)
Before labor begins, take time to understand your options and clarify what matters most to you. Whether it’s deciding on pain management methods, birthing positions or which interventions you are/aren’t okay with, it's essential to know your priorities. Writing down your birth preferences and sharing them with your healthcare provider and partner in advance helps everyone stay on the same page.
Even though you should think about your preferences for an ideal birth, it’s important to stay flexible. Birth can sometimes take unexpected turns, so having an open mind alongside your preferences is key.
Communicate Clearly
During pregnancy and labor, communicating your needs is a huge step in advocating for yourself. Whether you want to ask for more information about a suggested procedure or express your discomfort with anything being done, speaking up is your right. Clear communication helps ensure that your concerns are understood and addressed. Statements like "I’d like a minute to think about that," or "I’m not comfortable with this option," can be powerful and help keep you in control of your experience.
Use Your Support System to Help
Your partner, doula, birth coach, or other support people play a crucial role in advocating for you. Make sure that they are familiar with your preferences and can step in to help communicate your wishes, especially when you may be focused on labor. Having a trusted person communicate with medical staff for you can relieve some of the pressure and ensure that your needs are consistently met.
It’s also helpful to encourage your support team to ask questions if something is unclear. They can ask, "Can you explain the benefits and risks of this procedure?" to ensure everyone understands the options.
Ask for Time to Make Decisions
It’s okay to ask for a minute to consider your options. If a new procedure or intervention is proposed, and you’re unsure, ask to think about it for a minute. This allows you to make an informed decision without feeling rushed. Labor can be intense, but most decisions aren’t emergencies, and taking a few moments to think can help you stay in control.
Don’t hesitate to ask questions like, “Is this medically necessary right now?” or “Are there any other options?” if you’re not comfortable with what is being suggested.
Say No When Necessary
Advocating for yourself also means knowing when to say no. If something feels unnecessary, you have the right to say no. Unless it is an emergency, there are usually multiple options for directions you can go in birth. It’s important to trust your instincts and protect your experience in whatever way that looks for you. For example, if you're not comfortable with a procedure, expressing that can help set boundaries.
Phrases like "I’d prefer not to do that," or "I would like to explore other options," can help you stay in control of the situation.
Be Prepared, but Flexible
Birth plans are valuable, but they also need to remain flexible. It’s essential to prepare for different possibilities. Sometimes labor doesn’t go exactly as envisioned, and unexpected situations may arise. However, being prepared with knowledge about your preferences will help you advocate even when adjustments need to be made.
Staying flexible, while maintaining clear communication, helps ensure that your experience remains centered around your needs, even when plans change.
Advocating for yourself during birth is about ensuring that your voice is heard and respected throughout the process. It’s important to be informed, communicate your preferences clearly, and trust your support team to help you. This is your birth experience, and you deserve to feel empowered and confident in the decisions being made.
Whether through preparation, clear communication, or trusting your instincts, advocating for yourself is a crucial part of having the birth that’s right for you.
